A Lesson in Latex
by Sierra's Darkness
Summary: [Thief King x Malik Ishtar] 'You left the condom in the shower.' Bakura snorted, knotting the towel around his waist securely and turning to face Malik. 'What do you mean, I left it in the shower? You’re still in there. You get it.'


**Author's note: **I'm baaaaack. :D Bet you're all ELATED to hear that, after five days of my absence. :X Ah, sarcasm; you're my love.

... Anyway, I wrote up a quick ficlet for 100themes over at Livejournal, because my holidays are drawing to a close, and I really need to start getting this theme done. :P I've only done about twenty of so out of a hundred, which means I'd better WRITE. So, yes. Your usual Thief Kingx Malik fic; I've been noticing it's getting more fans as of late. X3 THIS IS GOOD.

-waves Citronshipping banner-

**Pairing: **Thief King Bakura x Malik Ishtar.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Yuugiou, Thief King, or Malik.

**Warnings: **Implied sex, Malik's bad language, innuendos, condoms, and adult themes. :D

**---**

**A Lesson in Latex**

"You left the condom in the shower."

Bakura snorted, knotting the towel around his waist securely and turning to face Malik. He leaned against the doorframe, an eyebrow raised in lazy question. "What do you mean, _I _left it in the shower? You're still in there; you get it." He folded his arms, smirking.

Malik glared, more tempted to storm out of the room and sock Bakura a good one in the nose on his way out, than to pick up the condom on the floor of the shower recess he was still standing in. He drew the curtain across sharply, with a last dirty look at Bakura, who was smirking at him from the doorway.

"It's so _foul_," he complained, voice echoing off the tiles. Bakura rolled his eyes; even when he couldn't see what Malik was doing, he knew the Egyptian would be crouching beside the offending item, nose crinkled in distaste.

"If you don't like it, don't touch it," he smirked. "It's not like I care if it stays there; I'll just bathe some other way." There nonchalance in his tone was annoyingly evident, Malik scowling.

"And how are you going to do that?" Malik asked flatly, poking at the latex item with a finger wrapped tightly in the corner of the shower curtain. "There's only one way _to_ get clean, in this place, and you've just soiled it with… _that_."

Bakura snickered, unfolding his arms. "Don't whine, beautiful. If I hadn't used _that_, then you might just die of a disease tomorrow." He smirked, yanking the shower curtain open, and Malik, who was caught off guard, glared at the intrusion.

"Do you _mind_?"

"Not really."

"_I'm_ the one doing housecleaning," Malik said flatly, fixing the thief with another pointed glare, before tugging his finger free of the curtain. "And I'm still not touching it, just for that." He straightened, smirking as he rested a hand on his hip; the damnable thing was still lying near the drain.

Bakura snorted. "You are the woman in this house. It's only fitting," he teased, reaching out to flick Malik's nose, from which he received a grumble.

"Are you going to shut up and get out so I can clean this up, or are you going to stand there and piss me off all day?" Malik asked exasperatedly, sorely tempted to wipe that smirk right off Bakura's face. Knowing what the answer would be, he huffed, glared, and spat, "You're such a jerk."

"It's a gift." Bakura yawned, turning as if to leave, and Malik's form relaxed. But, before he could even utter a yelp of surprise, the thief had whipped back around and yanked Malik's towel off his hips.

"Bakura, you jackass!" Malik was fuming, hiding his lower body behind the shower curtain as his eyebrow twitched, an angry flush staining his cheeks. Bakura grinned wickedly, slinging Malik's stolen towel around his neck and arching an eyebrow.

"Something wrong, beautiful?"

"Oh, _no_, of _course_ not." The biting sarcasm in Malik's voice was absolutely _painful_ to Bakura's ears. Malik, who was still glaring heatedly and holding the shower curtain against his body, threw a nearby bar of soap at Bakura; it made a satisfying _thunk_ sound against Bakura's forehead, and Malik allowed himself a small smirk.

"Something wrong?" he asked, tone dripping with sugary sweetness. "Aw."

Bakura rolled his eyes, thumbing the bruise he could feel forming on his forehead, from where Malik's weapon of choice had made contact with his skin.

"You want a fight?" He smirked, taking a step closer to Malik, who shrank back a bit, holding the curtain more securely against himself. "Very well, then, little Malik," Bakura snickered, before grasping the shower curtain and attempting to tug it away from Malik's body.

"Stop it!" Malik hissed, glowering. "I'd like to keep my dignity in _one_ piece, thank you." In retaliation, he gripped Bakura's hair and yanked it _hard_; Bakura growled, giving the curtain a sharp pull, effectively splitting all the joints holding it up. It fluttered down, and Malik did his best to wrap it around his body, but Bakura wouldn't have any such thing.

"No, you don't," he grinned, leaning in to kiss Malik fiercely for a moment, which was successful in getting him to release his grip on the curtain, in favour of wrapping his arms around Bakura's neck – Malik's plan was to pull Bakura into the shower recess _with_ him. This backfired, though, when an arm slid around Malik's waist, drawing him against Bakura's body and, unfortunately, away from the safety of the curtain.

Malik bit down on Bakura's lip aggressively, growling profanities and struggling to escape the other's strong grip; Bakura smirked, licking his lips as he returned the favour, sinking his teeth into Malik's shoulder.

"Let me go," Malik huffed, wincing visibly at the bite, before covering it with a scowl and clawing at Bakura's arm.

"Hm. What do I get out of it?"

"… What do you _want_?"

A smirk. "You clean _it_ up without another complaint, cook me a nice, _juicy_ steak, and allow me to do whatever I wish to you as punishment."

Malik's jaw clenched in annoyance. "Punishment for _what_?" he demanded, glaring when Bakura grinned broadly and squeezed his backside briefly.

"For being naughty." Bakura kissed along Malik's shoulder, lavishing the bite marks with soothing touches; Malik relented a bit, purring softly.

"Only if I get to have my fun with handcuffs, after you're done with me." He smirked lazily, feeling Bakura chuckle against his skin.

"If you say so, beautiful." There were several slow, sensual kisses pressed to his throat, and then the warmth against Malik's body was gone; he blinked, noticing Bakura was no longer in the room, and he was still standing in the shower recess – alone.

"… I hate it when you do that," he called flatly, before the towel strewn across the floor caught his eye. He picked it up, smirking as he wrapped it around his waist once more, feeling rather smug. "And if we ever use one of these _condoms_ again, you're cleaning it up!"

Bakura's chuckle was loud enough for Malik to hear. "If I didn't experiment every once in a while, beautiful, then who else would add spice to this relationship, mm?"

Malik rolled his eyes, not bothering to answer.

"Besides," Bakura's smirking voice interrupted him again, "I thought the fact it was flavoured was a nice touch."

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**A/N: **This ends another update from me. X3; I've been updating a lot more, though, huh? I guess because of holidays, but those will be over in a number of weeks. -wilts- I do promise to do my best to write until then, though. :D

Reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated. -thud-


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